Here's to The Ladies Who Lunch

THE LADIES WHO LUNCH
—Stephen Sondheim

(spoken) I’d like to propose a toast.

Here’s to the ladies who lunch -
Everybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf.
Off to the gym,
Then to a fitting,
Claiming they’re fat.
And looking grim,
‘Cause they’ve been sitting
Choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I’ll drink to that.
And here’s to the girls who play smart -
Aren’t they a gas?
Rushing to their classes
In optical art,
Wishing it would pass.
Another long exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars,
A matinee, a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler’s.
I’ll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!
And here’s to the girls who play wife -
Aren’t they too much?
Keeping house but clutching
A copy of "Life"
Just to keep in touch.
The ones who follow the rules,
And meet themselves at the schools,
Too busy to know that they’re fools.
Aren’t they a gem?
I’ll drink to them!
Let us all drink to them!
And here’s to the girls who just watch -
Aren’t they the best?
When they get depressed,
It’s a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
I’ll drink to that.
So here’s to the girls on the go -
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes,
And you’ll see what they know:
Everybody dies.
A toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.
Let’s hear it for the ladies who lunch -
Everybody rise!
Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!

Jascha Heifetz on how NOT to play the violin

Imitating bad students:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5SluQyVqWQ&NR

(sent to me by Kevan Torfeh, originally forwarded by Nancy Roth)

Jascha Heifetz's web page:
http://www.jaschaheifetz.com/

Follow-up from John Forster

Hi Friends -

Between President Ford and Saddam Hussein, NPR has been dealing with the late and the late-breaking. However, this morning's dearth of death gave our little story its window. If you're interested, the link below takes you to the song. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6705929

Wishing you all a wonderful and peaceful New Year,
John

This just in from John Forster

Hi Friends -

A note to let you know that "NOT ON THE TEST," a new satirical song I wrote with longtime collaborator Tom Chapin, airs THURSDAY morning on NPR's Morning Edition. It'll be coming out of a Larry Abramson story on school testing and will air at roughly 25 minutes past the hour (though they can't tell us WHICH hour). If you're listening to NPR tomorrow morning keep your ears peeled.

John Forster

Choral Humor

Click here for choral humor:

http://www.oratoriosocietyofny.org/ChorusHumor.html

The All-Purpose Carol

You may enjoy this excerpt of The All-Purpose Carol, written and produced by a brilliant guy I've been privileged to work with a few times: John Forster, on a children's album by Tom Chapin, called Making Good Noise. This song was in a show called Both Barrels - which I piano/conducted in 1999, after Steve Orich musical directed. The rest of Making Good Noise is also brilliant, and it's now my kids' favorite.

It's That Time of Year...

Flashback to holiday fun with John Sawoski's 1997 WWW Christmas special